This is old but good. As in bad, so bad it's funny. Or maddeningly disgusting. I prefer laughing over getting pissed. Unless you're British, in which case I prefer laughing while getting pissed. ;)

http://www.memritv.or...

I love Islam. As a reward for being pious and only having eyes for your wife/wives, you get the virility of 100 men in Paradise and a veritable orgy of gorgeous horny virgins way more beautiful than your ugly earthly wives at your service.

So, as a woman, what's my reward for being pious and faithful? Hordes of delicious EXPERIENCED pieces of man meat? :D Not so much. :(

p.s. The cleric guy's name literally means "one who upholsters." Probably nobody finds that interesting but me.

I think it's also interesting how fixated he is on their whiteness. Not only sexist, but racist! Thanks, religion!

Thanks for posting this, I've always wondered about that 72 virgin thing. Does anyone know why it's specifically that number?

Because 71 was clearly not enough?

Edit: and it had to be less than 100 or else the man couldn't perform......according to the clerics calculations.

[quote Does anyone know why it's specifically that number?
Oddly enough, there is nothing in the actual Koran about the faithful getting 72 virgins in heaven. This is a reference from the Hadith, which is a collection of quotes attributed to Mohammed the prohet himself and direct observations about the way Mohommad lived his life, and since he's the foremost authority on Allah and the Koran does say to follow Mohammad's example, the Hadith are sometimes considered as important as the Koran, sometimes not- depends which muslim or cleric you ask. (whoo love those run-on sentences!) Hadith number 2,562 in the collection known as the Sunan al-Tirmidhi says, "The least [reward] for the people of Heaven is 80,000 servants and 72 wives, over which stands a dome of pearls, aquamarine and ruby."

Virgins in indeterminate amounts are mentioned several times in the Koran, as well as "houris" which have exceedingly white eyes, exceedingly black pupils, and very round pert breasts- these are explicitly rewarded in heaven. (interesting side note- Mohammed got his idea of ideal feminine ocular beauty from a certain type of cow thought to have purdy eyes) Juxtapose the Hadith with the Koran and it's easy to come up with this common belief, though not all muslims believe this specifically and some equate it to christians thinking they're going to get issued a harp and a halo. Depends who you talk to. The more ignorant and uneducated you are, the more likely you are to believe extreme religious doctrine- pretty much a worldwide trait.

I also find it interesting that according to the Koran you also get to do all kinds of behavior forbidden explicitly on Earth, like alcohol- you won't even get sick! "Wine . . . delicious to those who drink it . . . will neither dull their senses nor they will become drunk."

The more you look into it, the weirder Islam gets. Kinda like Christianity in this country. Sigh.

They are virgins, who yearn for their husbands. They are all the same age, morally and physically beautiful. They are like precious gems and pearls in their splendor, their clarity, their purity, and their whiteness. They are like hidden pearls – as pure as a pearl within a shell, untouched by man.

Okay, I actually know some guys whose fantasies are not that far off...

Whereas the women of this world may suffer, for days and nights, from menstruation, from blood for 40 days after childbirth, from vaginal bleeding and from diseases – the women of Paradise are pure, unblemished, menstruation-free, free of feces, urine, phlegm, children... Moreover, Allah cleaned them of all impure and foul things, both in appearance and character. In character, they are not jealous, hateful, or angry. They are not greedy.

Joy is speechless.

They are restricted to tents, locked up for the husband. There is no such thing as going out. When he comes home – they are there.

If you switched the gender roles, I would totally be into this. A kept man whose whole life revolves around my sexual pleasure. Who's with me?? Ladies??

"... free of feces, urine, phlegm, children... " Love it. Will they be cleansed of sperm after the husband has his way? Hey, will they still be virgins or will they be replaced by new, cleaner virgins?

[quote

They are restricted to tents, locked up for the husband. There is no such thing as going out. When he comes home – they are there.

If you switched the gender roles, I would totally be into this. A kept man whose whole life revolves around my sexual pleasure. Who's with me?? Ladies??
You mean you don't have one already? ;)

Wasn't there a movie depicting that a while back, Artificial Intelligence? Apparently we will get these, and they will look like Jude Law and be battery operated. Before heaven, preferably.

"... free of feces, urine, phlegm, children... " Love it. Will they be cleansed of sperm after the husband has his way? Hey, will they still be virgins or will they be replaced by new, cleaner virgins?

From what I remember, their purity is eternal and constant- so I would wager that every time the slate is immediately wiped clean, purity and cleanliness and virginity restored.

One of the things that confuses me is that all 72 are the exact same age, and look exactly alike, all resembling their father Adam. Um... if you're going for the ultimate fantasy and maximum recruiting potential, isn't this a bit of a marketing oversight? Isn't the whole point of 72 to have variety? Unless you have an extreme twin fetish.

But then they come back and say that the best and most beautiful women in history will all be in heaven available for your pleasure if you're a guy. Although actually, the more I think about that, the less I'm convinced that's all it's cracked up to be too: the vast majority of women go to hell and I'm pretty sure the hottest & coolest chicks were all sent there directly (Marilyn Monroe, Betty Page, Mata Hari, Cleopatra, etc.).

... the vast majority of women go to hell and I'm pretty sure the hottest & coolest chicks were all sent there directly (Marilyn Monroe, Betty Page, Mata Hari, Cleopatra, etc.).

I think Allah is using his facilities pretty efficiently. Consider this hypothetical: An Islamic extremist finds himself in heaven. You're Monroe, and you're consigned to eternity with 71 other women as a harem for this schmuck.

Where do you think you are?

... the vast majority of women go to hell and I'm pretty sure the hottest & coolest chicks were all sent there directly (Marilyn Monroe, Betty Page, Mata Hari, Cleopatra, etc.).

I think Allah is using his facilities pretty efficiently. Consider this hypothetical: An Islamic extremist finds himself in heaven. You're Monroe, and you're consigned to eternity with 71 other women as a harem for this schmuck.

Where do you think you are?

Ya know.... good point! lol